Victory

My friend Susan when she was working in a hospital in Chicago, send to me a beautiful bookmark with this poem which was created by an anonymous person. The poem is so beautiful that I even made a slideshow out of it. It helped me a lot during the time I worked and lived in a foreign land. It is called
Victory

“When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at nought and you can smile inwardly glorying in the insult or the oversight - That is Victory!

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your tastes offended, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed and you take it all in patient loving silence - That is Victory!

When you content with any food and raiment, any climate and society, any solitude, any interruption - That is Victory!

When you can bear with any discord, any irregularity, any unpunctuality, any solitude,any annoyance - That is Victory!

When you stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility, and endure it all as Jesus endured it - That is Victory!

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works,or to seek after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown - That is Victory!”  

With a Little Help From My Friends

With a Little Help From My Friends
Lennon/McCartney

A little help from my friends
What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Going to try with a little help from my friends.
What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No I get by with a little help from my friends,
Do you need anybody,
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love.
Would you believe in a love at first sight,
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light,
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Do you need anybody,
I just need somebody to love,
Could it be anybody,
I want somebody to love.
I get by with a little help from my friends,
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
With a little help from my friends.

job destiny

I have tried a lot of different kinds of jobs after college in between moving from present job to finding another one. I have tried being a small enterpreneur selling dried fish in the market(just because my father bought a space without telling me first, but it was okay, I gave it a try), a real estate agent, a stockbrocker(that lasted a week), sewing and designing baby dresses, an encoder to a swiss medical firm, an avon, tupperware and oriflame sales agent, a bag designer, a school secretary, a cosmetic office assistant, a publishing all around staff, a hospital staff, a medical records manager and now a non salaried willing gardener, housewife and even a part time office assistant to my husband. Looking back, I know I had some tough and hard times but I came thru successfully with some few regrets but the greatest experiences of my life. In the past, many people have wondered what I really wanted in life and I have never tried explaining myself or any decision I have made to any person that would question me. I was independent in so many ways regarding how my life should go and have gone. It was pure acceptance of the facts. I can say, I am a dreamer but not a big one. It was enough for me to accept the circumstances that goes with my life’s condition and status. I try not to struggle to achieve a far away and impossible dream that can lead to my being unsatisfied or even depressed and would cause a lot of heartaches for my loveones. Spare me of the details because it is a very long story actually. As of now, I am thinking what is the next job for me.

gray skies

Your mysterious Giving
O Lord, truly, Your grace is not from our work,
But from Your mysterious giving
Save us from what our own hands might do,
Lift the veil, but do not tear it.
Save us from the ego, its knife has reached our bones.
Who but You will break these chains?
Let us turn from ourselves to You
Who are nearer to us than ourselves.
Even this prayer is Your gift to us.
How else has a rose garden grown from these ashes?
MATHNAWI II, 2443-49

I have been sad for days now, my only strength comes from the faith that was instilled deep within me since I was little... 

Not counting the cost

kindly click the title to link where you can avail of the book.

I have been reading a book written by a friend from Australia. I like true stories especially when it's written by the person itself who have experienced it. There is something triumphantly healing about it that it's a delight to read. His faith has led him to a difficult but exciting journey that gave him the fulfilment of his purpose in life.

Not Counting The Cost

By: George Tweedale

Description:
This book is the true story of a young man's search for "Life", which took him around the world. Then after finding the Truth and the Life in the Himalayan Mountains of India, it tells of his journey through this newfound life and how God led him into missionary service. Here he faced many trials and difficult circumstances in three different foreign mission fields.
However, he found the Lord's grace to be sufficient to see him through. You will find this story to be exciting, challenging, and encouraging - a worthwhile read. 

My 100 list

I have started creating this my 100 list on a Monday, April 18, 2005 until I made a mess in my template and i cannot recover all my posts. here how it went ....

....They say a blog is not a blog without the 100 things. I have been having terrible headaches nowadays that I cannot even come up with 20 yet, but I will try to add some numbers everyday.....for the meantime, I am publishing what I have....

1. I have lots of nicknames marie, mare, isay, isang, mars and maria.
2. My mother would call me marissa when she was angry.
3. My family would always tell me that I am a fast worker.
4. I have a friend who always say to me “my mickey mouse”.
5. My nieces calls me mommy.
6. My husband’s term of endearment to me is skat which means “honey or tax” in danish.
7. I have a dimple that was brutally critized as abnormality.
8. I like chubby children with round faces.
9. I like pinching cheeks.
10. It was my dream to have long straight, healthy black hair
19th of April-I found a comment from Fr. Stephen the next day and I was so grateful and answered it with....
To Fr. Stephen-I can feel that my ears are pulling me up higher but my feet won’t go....I feel like hiding under the chair actually. From the bottom of my heart I wanted to thank you for the nice words you have said. Coming from someone very respectable, how can I not include it in my list! For those who disagree you cannot appeal, he he he and you cannot stop me-it is my blog anyway
11. Friendly
12. Smiling
13. Photogenic
14. Creative
15. Thoughtful
later on....my head is getting better so I was able to add more numbers
16. I like taking pictures or we pinoys call it “kodakan”
17. Exploring caves was a favorite past time before(hoping I can still do it again in the future).
18. I am glad to have religious friends.
19. Writing and receiving letters makes my day.
20. I easily cry and sometimes without any reason(crazy woman!).
21. Gardening is one of my most enjoyable hobby.
22. I like sketching faces of people who are very dear to me.
23. I cherished every honest friendship that comes along the way.
24. Some years ago, I would take a long bus ride to anywhere it would take me. There was also a time that my roommate and myself just take the bus from Aparri to Jolo and all over the northern part of the Philippines.
25. The Philippines will always be my home away from home.
26. When I was young, I said to myself-I would someday go to Greece and I forgot all about it until two years ago when I was already standing on its ground and admiring the view.
20th of April
I had a bad day today but I was able to relax and tried blogging. here are some more....
27. I had a 22” waistline when I was 22.
28. During the height of Farrah Fawcett’s career, she had this very famous hairstyle that I bugged my mom to have my hair done the same way, I had to wait for days before she took me to the hairstylist and it was truly awesome, he he.
29. Curlers do wonders for my hair.
30. I love watching movies and television.
31. I have a long list of favorite actors.
32. I am beginning to like sailing, the waves and the calm waters in the middle of the sea.
33. If I would be asked to wish something that I can change--I would like my normal vision back so that I will not be wearing eyeglasses and contact lenses. The eyeglasses has made me look matúred and it also has limited my capacity to do things comfortably and enjoyably.
34. I like “sinigang” fish-pork-beef-bones with lots of vegetables.
35. I am a sucker of love stories.
36. I have a favorite soup recipe that I can eat three times a day.
37. I like seafoods especially big shrimps, prawns, crabs, mussels, oysters etc. I cannot forget the day, that the host in a party (held in France) took the time to served all of them for us to eat. I felt I was the only one in the group(we are only three ladies in the group and the rest about 16 of them) who had a big stomach after we finished eating.(greedy!!!!!!!!)If only I can take home the rest.(too much already!)
38. I believe in miracles.
39. I had my first boyfriend when I was 15 years old. He was tall, dark and handsome but another girl stole him from me after 2 years.
40. So many times during College, I had to walk in the flooded areas around the university (University of Santo Tomas) to get a bus home. (Imagine there were lots of open manhole over there...)
41. I will never forget the worst traffic in Cubao(It is the nearby city where I live) that I had to walk until I reached our house. It is more or less 10 miles.
22nd of April
It is prayer day over here. It is so quiet, I got to add some more numbers....
42. I am a late bloomer. Everything that I experienced have happened to most people a long way earlier than me , and so some of them I was guilty of doing until somebody made me realized that it was just normal experiences and I am even late in experiencing it.
43. At some point in my life, I have realized how stubborn I was in more ways than one and yet, It’s were I have been taking in my strength in cases of restlessness.....
44. Happiness for me can be a minute, an hour, days, months or a year(?). I just try to enjoy the moments that I feel it because for all I know, another problem is coming….
45. My term of endearment to my husband is “taba”.Actually, he have lost a little weight and I am thinking if I will change it to - you know…payat?
46. That it pains me everytime I nag my husband(bwahahahahahahahaha!)
47. The sounds of the birds, the wind blowing over the trees and the train are music to my ears.
The sun is shining brightly today but it is still cold because of the wind. …I got to add some more….
48. I had asthma when I was younger and it was really very hard to bear.
49. Flying kites with my siblings is one of the nicest memories I had in my childhood.
50. I have two younger sisters after me and one of the “not so funny thing” we did was pulling each other’s hair when we were young. Nowadays since we have become matured(?), we just critized each other’s hair.
51. Growing up in a big family is fun but now so much fun sometimes….
52. Growing up in a household that was so noisy where you hear a lot of voices especially in the morning where it would wake me up, It was a luxury to have some time alone in a place and all that you can hear are the singing of the birds…..
53. Eating ice cream,balut( a fertilised egg with a partially developed duckling, which is eaten boiled), pandesal(a kind of round small bread) as much as you can was always something to look forward to in my younger years, wherein my father would buy a whole basket of balot, different flavors of ice cream and bags of pandesal. Those we have also shared with the workers in our little shoe factory.
54. I like keeping all the notes, little things, gifts that were given to me and it grows old with me.
55. My favorite animal is a sheep.
56. I don’t have a pet and I am not planning to have one.
57. I am into quality bargain shopping!
58. I have stopped smiling a lot(I don’t know why!).
59. Roses, tulips and daisies are three of my favorites flowers.
26th of April
Let’s call it Monday blues….I can’t think more than the following:
60. It is a struggle to be silent when I used to talk a lot….
61. I have an incomparable friend who is with me everytime I need him-his name is Ronald.
62. I am not good in saying goodbye. It is too painful for me to bear.
63. 9 is my favorite number.
64. It makes me feel good watching sunrise on top of a mountain.
65. I like to watch the sunset in a beach or anywhere comfortable in Manila Bay.
66. I like the smell of the flowers and the morning grass.
67. Sauna gives me nausea.
68. A good massage is a luxury for me.
69. I cannot whistle.
5th of May
70. If there’s a sin for abusing words or sentences then it would be “I should have…..” for me.
71. I am basically a sweet person but I can be as cold as ice when betrayed.
72. One of my dream is to win a lottery and become a millionaire for so many reasons….
73. Vancouver and Alaska are two of my unattainable dream vacation place until now.
15th of May-Finally!
74. Becoming an enterpreneur again is my latest dream.
75. I love the colors when the sun is setting.
76. I hope to be courageous enough to go to a gymn training instructor and soon!
77. I love chocolates.
78. I gained weight for the last 3 years.
79. And so I thought I had the most numbered of x-ray examinations than anybody else.
80. I allowed myself to be a guinea pig in our new MRI machine some years ago.
81. I have a garden of friends. Most of them are all based in different countries.
82. It is my wish when I become 50 years old(will I be alive then?) that I will invite all my close friends around the globe to come on my birthday to celebrate and have a reunion. (so guys, you have so many years to save for the trip)
83. One of the worst weakness I have is my being impatient although it has already improved....
84. My favorites fruits are red grapes, strawberries, pear, cherries, watermelon, melon, santol, sweet mangoes, atis, lanzones, oranges and kiwi.
85. The first time I really cried hard was when my mother died and the last time was last December where I had the most difficult stage in my life.
86. The first time I really got so angry was during a fight with my eldest sister and the last time when I was accused of saying something that I did not say at all.
87. It was so hard to tell the painful truth to a close friend about going on a sabbatical in our friendship.
88. I felt like a millionaire when I received the percentage amount from the lot that I have sold for the very first time some years ago.
89. The most miserable time in my life was having been confined in a hospital and not any of my siblings were able to visit me.......
90. My favorite sleepwear is a set of warm pajamas during winter and only underwear during warm season.
91. My most unforgettable experience was when I was flown away by a big stormy wind.
92. My parents are the most courageous people that I have ever known in my entire life.
93. Marriage for me is a two-way street.
94. I like Winnie the pooh.
95. My husband can make me laugh.
96. My favorite perfume is Happy.
97. I liked all the thai restaurants located in a long beach in Hua Hin.
98. I would like to come back in Paris.
99. All my nieces and nephews are my favorite children in this world.
100. I like the music of the beatles, Bon Jovi, Rod Steward, Barbra Streisand, Don Mclean, N'sync, Destiny's Child, Rihanna etc. ----and I am sure many names would be added in this one.....
.

bestfriends for life!

Moon river, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style someday,
Oh, dream maker, you heartbreaker,
Wherever you're goin',
I'm goin' your way
Two drifters, off to see the world,
There's such a lot of world to see,
We're after the same rainbow's end
Waitin' round the bend
My Huckleberry friend,
Moon river and me."
Lyrics by Johnny Mercer
Music composed by Henry Mancini  

Rainbow Connection

The sun was shining but the skies are a little bit gray, a sign that it might rain later. I decided to go out around 16:00 o' clock and walked down to the bus station and from there I went to a mall just to see around and bought some strawberries. I took the bus home around 18:00 o'clock and it started to rain when the bus slowly moved out. It was not hard and it was still raining when I got off and I just opened my green umbrella and started walking. It is at least 10 to 15 minutes walk going inside the village. Our house is just near the waterfront that it was almost the end of the road. It was when I was turning in the corner facing the start of the long street when I saw this very big, clear beautiful rainbow. I have never seen a rainbow like that in my entire life. And it was even two actually, but the second one which was the bigger one was not so clear. It was so amazing that I thought it was the most enjoyable walk I ever had. My only regret was that my camera was not with me that I cannot take the picture of it. Side by side was houses and it was a long straight street and I can see that the end of the rainbow was pointing where our house is, and that made me so happy. I keep saying to myself, Oh God, there's a pot of gold waiting for me? I cannot erase it in my mind and yet, my feelings was so overwhelming that I realized that no matter how much I wanted to sketch what I just saw, my gladness cannot contain me. It was so indescribable. I was also asking myself why the rainbow was so clear, and so I thought, because most of the houses have beautiful flowers and trees and it was near the water, that the illusion that was created was so powerful. Anyway, I decided, I'll just take a picture of mine and just used the program tools to make the rainbow so that you'll have a glimpse of what I saw.  

brown out

Above is an old picture of cez, myself and my two younger sisters.  

My high school friend

g 
She loves mathematics. She loves to teach. Now she is a principal in a public school and still very much involved in helping the students to get enough knowledge about mathematics. She loves what she is doing. I still have all the little notes she has given me way back then in high school. One of the things I cherished is a paper recycled mug from Japan that she gave me. The mug have made our connection alive and would remind me of her every morning. We did not see each other for a long time and it was only in 2002 that we had a reunion after so many years. I can still remember that one fine rainy morning during high school, (all the students are standing in front of a stage in which we are required to sing the national anthem every morning)we are not on the same class and she was on the third row, and she passed on a cute envelope and inside was a nicely cut paper with a poem that was entitled "To a special someone". Here how it goes....

at times when i feel lost,
cannot cope with the heavy
burden of the hort, you…
encourage me to keep on,
make things seem easy to bear
during days when I’m sad,
when things go rough,
you devoted your time
for listening to me,
lending a shoulder cry on,

in moments of vague emptiness,
you reach out for me,
touching chords of music in my heart
in happiness you share my delight,
and in sorrow you are always there….
ready to comfort me just like a lost child
i find solace at the warm assurance
of your sturdy arms,
forgetting worries for a while
and believing only that your nearness
can make everything right for both
you and me!

I hope she’s okay and happy, I miss her laugh, jokes and her voice.

going back in time

old pictures, loveones, friends, memories.... 

A mother of all seasons

We were so busy today that I almost forgot that it is a special day. The illustration above is a tribute to my mother. I got only two pictures of my mother because the rest was with my sisters. In the picture was my mother together with her first grandchild and the background that I used is an enhanced picture of my asian lilies in the garden. My mother's birthday is May 12 but she is not anymore around to celebrate it because she died of cardiac arrest in 1993 at the age of 73. I can still remember that many people tried to tell me that she was old already and that she was ready to go. Deep inside me, I was hurting so much because it was unfair to say that. I cannot accept that my mother was old enough to die. She could have lived another 20 or more years, long enough to see her grandchildren grow up. That was the hardest and the most painful experience I ever had. I cannot let go. I was not good at saying goodbye....and will never be. Anyway, my mother have loved us-her family unconditionally. Her family was the only important thing in her life when she was alive. She was a wonderful wife, a very lovable mother to seven children and a generous grandmother to my nephew and my two little nieces(they were only three during the time of her death). I never saw her went out with any of her friends and she would rather enjoy every minute of her day with us. Some months after her death, I went to a self retreat in a convent for three days. I was encouraged by my religious friend to help me out of my misery. On my last day of my retreat, I went on a top of a hill to meditate. The place was full of trees and there was a cut tree lying near the edge of the hill. I sat down in the cut tree and tried to enjoy the beautiful view. I was like that for half an hour until I closed my eyes and started meditating, and after some minutes----there I was still sitting on the same place and I was so happy.I was not alone because I was between Jesus and my mother. We were happily talking and laughing and enjoying the view. It was like that for-I don't know how long but it was a beautiful experience. I have not told anyone about it until recently when I started this journal. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
 

Friday night bonding

The illustration above is the picture of my husband while he was sleeping in the couch last night and saving some space for me to sit, while I watched tv beside him. He is a camera shy type and I walked away slowly to get the camera and took the shot, he he he. I seldom talked about him and there are lots of stories to tell that I would rather talk about them little by litlle as my blog goes on everytday. First of all, he is a kind and sweet person. He has this beautiful smile also that made me fall for him. One weakness of him is that he is not good in memorizing names and so many times, he embarasses himself for not introducing me or the other person everytime we bumped with some of his acquaintances. You will not dare going out with him during boat exhibitions because people likes talking to him. Almost everybody knows him that just after he talked with someone and suddenly another person is there talking with him again. Like if we entered the building and walked a little that we cannot move anymore because, everytime he ended a conversation that he finds himself talking again with another person in split seconds. During the first time I went with him, I realized that I had to be ready with my smile everytime and my hands to shake and introduce myself right away. I was very patient for sometime but, I have learned how to amuse myself already by going around alone and talk with some of the people I have met. 

A Fortune Teller

When I was in high school, a woman suddenly stopped me and said, How would you like to know something about your future? I said, what? Are you a fortune teller? I don't even have money to give you or anything else, and why would you do that? But the woman only said, you don't have to pay me-I will just say one thing to you and then she said-one day you will be able to travel. I just said, okay and thanks and then I did not think about it anymore. Thinking about that now, it is true that I was able to travel again and again and it has given me a lot of ideas, things to learn about - the places , the people, a little of the language, culture and so on and on....I consider it blessings.And today, I will thank God again for that. 

happy face

I was looking at my pictures and before I knew it, I was already experimenting with the tools and made a lot of changes on how my face will look like, and so here are what I have made. It's kind of messy actually. When I was a teenager, I would experiment a lot with my hair since I don't have straight and healthy hair. I can say I am lucky because they were thick enough to handle all the changes and shifting. The images above are pictures of myself from the last 4 years.  

Midnight Train to Georgia

This is one of my favorite songs. I hope that one day, too I would be able to take the train to Georgia to see what it's like. The illustration above is a picture of mine and I enhanced it to have some dramatic effect or to came up with something that I was satisfied with.

"Midnight Train To Georgia"

(As recorded by Gladys Knight & The Pips)


L.A. proved too much for the man,
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know,
He said he's goin' back to find
Ooh, what's left of his world,
The world he left behind
Not so long ago.
He's leaving,
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
He kept dreamin'
That someday he'd be a star.
But he sure found out the hard way
That dreams don't always come true.
So he pawned all his hopes
and he even sold his old car
Bought a one way ticket
To the life he once knew,
Oh yes he did,
He said he would
Be leavin
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
Go, gonna board, gonna board,
Gonna board the midnight train.
Gotta go, gonna board
Gonna board
Gonna board the midnight train
(repeat, fade) 

Illustration Friday: Ambition

Kindly click the title to be re-direct to my other blog.