A mother of all seasons

We were so busy today that I almost forgot that it is a special day. The illustration above is a tribute to my mother. I got only two pictures of my mother because the rest was with my sisters. In the picture was my mother together with her first grandchild and the background that I used is an enhanced picture of my asian lilies in the garden. My mother's birthday is May 12 but she is not anymore around to celebrate it because she died of cardiac arrest in 1993 at the age of 73. I can still remember that many people tried to tell me that she was old already and that she was ready to go. Deep inside me, I was hurting so much because it was unfair to say that. I cannot accept that my mother was old enough to die. She could have lived another 20 or more years, long enough to see her grandchildren grow up. That was the hardest and the most painful experience I ever had. I cannot let go. I was not good at saying goodbye....and will never be. Anyway, my mother have loved us-her family unconditionally. Her family was the only important thing in her life when she was alive. She was a wonderful wife, a very lovable mother to seven children and a generous grandmother to my nephew and my two little nieces(they were only three during the time of her death). I never saw her went out with any of her friends and she would rather enjoy every minute of her day with us. Some months after her death, I went to a self retreat in a convent for three days. I was encouraged by my religious friend to help me out of my misery. On my last day of my retreat, I went on a top of a hill to meditate. The place was full of trees and there was a cut tree lying near the edge of the hill. I sat down in the cut tree and tried to enjoy the beautiful view. I was like that for half an hour until I closed my eyes and started meditating, and after some minutes----there I was still sitting on the same place and I was so happy.I was not alone because I was between Jesus and my mother. We were happily talking and laughing and enjoying the view. It was like that for-I don't know how long but it was a beautiful experience. I have not told anyone about it until recently when I started this journal. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!